The Atypical Protagonist: Adarsh Gourav has the edge

I remember Ramin going back to New York after a month-long audition process. There were four-five rounds, and many hopefuls for the role. And then Ramin called me and asked me if I바카라�d like to play Balram. I couldn바카라�t feel the ground underneath my feet. It was one of those white noise moments, where you suddenly stop hearing things after certain words. It was surreal.

Honestly, I didn바카라�t know what would happen after The White Tiger. At that moment, I remember I was overwhelmed and grateful that a director had placed their faith in me to play the lead (of a bestselling novel). I knew I had to do everything within my power to understand the human being I was playing.

The process began much before shooting바카라�I went and lived in a village for a few weeks, I worked at a tea stall for a few weeks, and I even sat for the auditions of the characters I had scenes with. Ramin was incredibly generous; he would ask me for suggestions about the props my character would have in his office, once he바카라�d become a businessman. He involved me in production design, took me to this giant warehouse, and we found how my character would dress. I바카라�d suggested to him if I could have a lizard tank because there바카라�s a sense of power in that. As Balram, I might have been terrified of lizards, but how the tables had turned. The scene eventually got cut, but it was these little things that helped me find the inner life of Balram.

The appreciation for the film had begun to come much before the premiere. Ramin바카라�s agent, George Freeman, had seen a rough-cut of the film and he spoke to me about representing me in America. It didn바카라�t have a theatrical premiere바카라�the local production house organised a screening on Veera Desai (road). I called 10-15 friends and some of the local crew members and we all watched it together and celebrated after that.

I didn바카라�t have any sense of how the film would be received, because when you바카라�re dubbing a film, you end up watching it so many times that you lose all objectivity. And then, upon release, if the audience says nice things, you바카라�re just grateful. It feels like an escape.

There were lots of people I was talking to바카라�actors, directors from India, directors from abroad. One of the more surreal ones was talking to Tarantino바카라�s producer, Lawrence Bender. He spoke to me over Zoom, asking me what kind of work I was looking at stateside. Winning the Independent Spirit nomination, I didn바카라�t even know what it was! I바카라�m not a cinema nerd, I didn바카라�t know what the BAFTAs were. I obviously knew about the Academy and Emmy, but when I was told that I was on the short list of the BAFTAs, I had to first look it up.

I don바카라�t hang out with actors a lot, so I just take it as work. Like someone goes to office, even I do the same. If a director I love and respect reaches out to me or if I see them, the interaction is usually, 바카라�I바카라�m a huge fan of your work.바카라� I바카라�d love to work in any capacity if they have something. There바카라�s not much beyond that. I was never mesmerised by cinema in a way that probably put me in the fan culture. I was pursuing music in college, so I had my own life beyond the films. I바카라�d obviously watched films, I chanced upon world cinema around 20-21, but I was never taken over by the magnanimity of cinema.

Maybe I바카라�m a bit unaware about how I look; others didn바카라�t focus on it as much during the early years. I never cared for how I looked, or how different I was from the rest of the crowd. I바카라�d always been interested in playing a character. At some point, I remember someone giving me the advice to not do too many ads. 바카라�Ad face ban jaayega바카라� was a popular concern when I started out. It바카라�s not like many ads were coming my way either, but I also knew I didn바카라�t want to do any kind of work. And I바카라�ve always held the belief that I have to first be an interesting person to become an interesting actor. Being stimulated by myself, on an individual level, is more important than being an actor.

I think living life is as much a part of being an actor, interacting with different kinds of people, doing activities out of your comfort zone. Once you바카라�re a working actor, you don바카라�t have the luxury of time to prepare for each role. So that바카라�s when you draw upon something you might have read or a song you might have heard, or a person you might have met바카라�and what it made you feel. You need to borrow from inner experiences, and make it as personal to you as possible.

Yeah, there were a few films where I got close and then didn바카라�t get picked. I remember a casting director telling me that the director didn바카라�t think I was good looking enough for an audition which I thought had gone really well. So obviously, it hurt a little. But it바카라�s not in my control. If I could be taller based on my hard work, then I바카라�d surely be much taller.

I바카라�m not immune to comments on looks, like everybody else. But I바카라�ve also realised that confidence, sensitivity and a sense of humour matter바카라�everything else can be superseded. I think people should work on attaining these three qualities. Confidence innately makes you a much more attractive person. In the early days, I would obviously have days when I would hear these things바카라�and that바카라�s when one needs to have these conversations with themselves.

I think that바카라�s everywhere. That바카라�s the whole point of fashion, right? Everyone wears what the others are wearing. When you hear a cool phrase, you want to incorporate it into your life as fast as possible. So, I don바카라�t think it바카라�s just Hindi cinema being homogeneous as much as the society at large. Which is why it바카라�s important to remember where you바카라�re coming from, otherwise you바카라�ll be another person in the crowd. And then, why should anyone be interested in your story?

I don바카라�t give a shit about fame. I want my work to be appreciated, but I don바카라�t care too much about being famous. I바카라�ve not felt like my normalcy has been snatched. I mean, sure, there are times when I suddenly feel like I바카라�ve not done something in a very long time. For example, there was a time I would commute by local train a lot, and just the other day I realised I hadn바카라�t taken a train in three years. It바카라�s not something I can바카라�t do, or I바카라�ve chosen not to, but you바카라�re so busy with things one after the other, you have these sudden realisations. To be fair, now that I have a car and the option to go comfortably, it바카라�s made me lazier. I also justify it to myself by saying that I did it for so many years, so maybe I deserve this? When I think about these things, I get a little scared. I have to remind myself바카라�don바카라�t get too comfortable, and don바카라�t get lazy.

I assume, yes. I think I바카라�ve been fortunate to have a partner who is sensitive and grounded, and who isn바카라�t interested in any form of capitalism. She바카라�s interested in experiences, and smaller things. We like to spend time around animals, we love trekking, camping, going for a swim in the pool or the ocean. I like spending time with my family. I think even if your personal ecosystem is small, it can play a big part in being a reality check.

I didn바카라�t grow up around a lot of money. Both my parents are retired government employees. My mother was an accountant in New India Assurance, my father was the manager in the Central Bank of India. We grew up with enough, but there weren바카라�t indulgences like a big car or branded clothes. To be honest, I didn바카라�t even feel like we were missing out on anything. But the feeling of envy was planted within me when I moved to Mumbai as a 13-year-old. There was a casual day in school, and I remember going to school wearing Bata shoes, while most of my classmates were wearing Nikes. That was the first time I came face-to-face with my wants.

The older I got, these things only increased. In my early 20s, I also had those dreams of a big car, a massive house. But at this stage I think I바카라�ve grown out of it. I obviously need enough money to take good care of my family; I can afford at least a couple of holidays a year. I don바카라�t have enough personal ambition tied to money. The fact that I want a home in Bandra, or a Ferrari바카라�I don바카라�t look at those things now. I had a sneaker phase, but I바카라�ve outgrown that too.

I think it바카라�s a reflection of your own insecurities, where you바카라�re judging someone else for their clothes, the watch they바카라�re wearing or the car they바카라�re driving바카라�it means you바카라�re insecure about how you바카라�ve dressed up, what car you have or the watch that you바카라�re wearing. I just don바카라�t think like that. I don바카라�t treat people differently based on what they바카라�re wearing. And I think it makes my life that much simpler.

One thing I noticed was how the length of the role increased almost immediately. Before, I had done a couple of central characters like in Hostel Daze (2019), but the rest of the work was very limited in terms of screen time. Suddenly people had the confidence in me to play the central character. And I think it바카라�s just inevitable that people need to see a performance first to get a glimpse of your ability. If not for The White Tiger, how would Zoya Akhtar have thought of me for Kho Gaye Hum Kahan (2023)? Same with Raj & DK and Richie Mehta.

The exploration that I get to do for every role I play is the number one reason why I do this at all. As human beings, our orbit is so small바카라�we live this life surrounded by the same 50-100 people. As actors, your orbit can become as big as a football stadium, where through every project you undertake, you can meet hundreds or thousands of people from different subcultures. It바카라�s a privilege to get to know so many people very intimately, especially their fears and motivations. It genuinely enriches my soul. I바카라�m not trying to prove a point바카라�every time I play a character I go on a journey with them. I did it with Mohit Chadha (in Mom) too바카라�I went and lived in Delhi University for a month. Nobody ever asked me about it, so I never had the opportunity to bring it up. All Reema told me is not to mimic Nasir and that she was curious about my take on him.

When I went to Malegaon, I had no plan. From the hotel, I would go to his home and have breakfast there and then I would ask him 바카라�Aaj kya karna hai?바카라� He would say, 바카라�Chalo, chai peeke aate hai!바카라� I would ask him questions like, if he wanted solitude, where would he go and sit? And he took me to this tree in the middle of nowhere. He later told me that he바카라�d almost forgotten about the place, because he바카라�d not been there in years. He thanked me for reminding him about it.

We made a film called Nana Ki Kranti바카라�it바카라�s a mish-mash of Krantiveer and Hera Pheri. It cost Rs 20,000 and I told him to make whatever he felt like. I was his crew. My character of Nasir came from the real man, and all the directors I바카라�d worked with till then, including Reema.

What바카라�s the point of playing a whitewashed character? It바카라�s not fun at all. All the credit to Varun for how he wrote it, and also to Nasir bhai for being so generous with his life story. He바카라�s a director himself after all.