Who Gets To Celebrate Valentine바카라™s Day? Love and Its Many Restrictions In India

Rahul, a 23-year-old MA student at Ranchi University, is an active member of both the Akhil Bharatiya Vidyarthi Parishad (ABVP) and Bajrang Dal, affiliates of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS). As Valentine바카라™s Week begins on February 7, he watches students exchange flowers and gifts with disapproval, calling it a "Western influence" that promotes "vulgarity" and must be controlled.

Rahul does not have a girlfriend and believes in marrying according to his parents' wishes, which he sees as the "pure and traditional" way of finding love in India. Over the past few years, he and his fellow Bajrang Dal 바카라˜karyakartas바카라™ have patrolled parks and public spaces, claiming to protect women from "wily men" and to curb "Love Jihad," a term used to suggest that interfaith relationships pose a threat to societal structures.

In a place like Ranchi, even urban spaces fail to provide couples with peace and privacy, as constant monitoring by families, society, and vigilante groups disrupts their freedom. Even modern settings like malls and restaurants offer little respite. In a society where romantic love is already scrutinized and must navigate the rigid structures of caste, religion, and class, the extreme commercialization of Valentine바카라™s Day and the rise in vigilantism in India바카라™s urban centers make love an arduous pursuit despite its glorification in the market and social media.

Love as a Political Act

In India, love is not only commercialised but also deeply politicised. Caste, class, and religion dictate the boundaries of romantic relationships, often making love a site of struggle rather than celebration. While capitalism seeks to turn love into a marketable commodity, conservative social structures attempt to restrict it within predefined norms. Inter-caste and interfaith relationships, particularly, face strong resistance. The rise of moral policing has made it increasingly difficult for young couples to express their love freely. The simple act of being together in a park or a café can invite harassment from right-wing groups or even law enforcement, who claim to be upholding cultural values. This creates an atmosphere where love itself becomes an act of defiance.

Historically, love in India has always been constrained by caste. The rigid structures of caste endogamy ensure that marriage and romantic partnerships remain within social boundaries, reinforcing the hierarchical order. Those who challenge this system, particularly Dalit-Bahujan individuals in relationships with upper-caste partners, often face severe backlash바카라”ranging from social ostracization to violence. Even in urban, so-called progressive spaces, caste privilege dictates relationship dynamics in ways that are often overlooked. Love, which should be a personal and autonomous choice, is instead subjected to the dictates of family, community, and state.

Religion, too, plays a decisive role in regulating love. The recent rise in narratives framing interfaith relationships as threats to societal stability has legitimized crackdowns on such unions. Certain states have enacted laws targeting interfaith couples, empowering authorities to intervene in personal relationships under the pretext of protecting women. Such measures not only criminalize love but also reinforce patriarchal and communal anxieties, restricting women바카라™s autonomy over their own choices.

Capitalism, meanwhile, operates alongside these social structures. The commercialization of Valentine바카라™s Day thrives in urban India, where malls, restaurants, and gift companies push the idea that love must be expressed through consumerism. The middle and upper classes indulge in expensive gifts, romantic getaways, and luxurious dinners, reinforcing the notion that love requires financial expenditure. However, for the vast majority of young people, particularly those from working-class and marginalized backgrounds, these displays of love remain inaccessible. The economic reality of precarious jobs, stagnant wages, and rising living costs makes traditional courtship an economic burden. Love, under neoliberalism, is increasingly stratified by class.

Digital Platforms and Reinforcement of Social Norms

The digital age, rather than dismantling these barriers, has reinforced them in unexpected ways. Online dating platforms, social media, and rapid mobility have created new avenues for people to meet, but they have not democratized love. Instead, they have amplified pre-existing social norms. Algorithms on dating apps privilege caste, class, and religious compatibility, replicating and reinforcing societal boundaries rather than erasing them. While digital connections promise greater autonomy in choosing partners, they remain embedded in deeply structured biases.

Women face disproportionate scrutiny and harassment online, while couples from marginalized backgrounds still encounter discrimination in virtual spaces. Far from freeing love from traditional constraints, technology has merely adapted these controls to a new medium.

Surveillance and the Policing of Love

State surveillance and moral policing further constrain expressions of love. In many places, public displays of affection are discouraged or criminalized, while couples face harassment from authorities and self-appointed moral guardians. The increasing surveillance of personal lives through technology, including government-backed digital monitoring, adds another layer of difficulty, particularly for those whose relationships exist outside societal norms. The right to love freely is not merely a personal issue; it is a matter of civil liberties, intersecting with broader struggles for autonomy and human rights.

The intersection of religious nationalism, caste rigidity, and capitalism has made it exceedingly difficult for young Indians to express love outside prescribed norms. Love, which should be an act of autonomy and mutual respect, is instead reduced to a site of ideological and economic struggle. Whether through moral policing, caste surveillance, the digital reinforcement of social hierarchies, or the pressures of consumer culture, the forces that seek to regulate love continue to grow stronger. In this landscape, love is not just an emotion but a political act, one that challenges both market logic and authoritarian control.