The Fault In Our Synergies

Corporate ka king kaun? Piku Mhatre. The phonetic similarity is, of course, just a coincidence, but this rhyme rings deep. Because like the beloved Bollywood gangster, Piku inspires respect and fear. At the age of 26, heading the Human Resource department of a global consulting firm, WeWin, he바카라�s already become a legend in the recruiting industry.

On many days, he바카라�s fired a few employees바카라�sorry, resources바카라�before they바카라�ve even contemplated their breakfast options. Actually, not fired, he hates that word, let gone. That바카라�s what he바카라�s best at, and most known for, downsizing. He바카라�s also famous for his 바카라�corporate literary바카라� writing바카라�his long emails have spawned their own fan base on job portals바카라�culminating in a splash on the literary shores. A prestigious publishing house, Walrus, recently gave him a seven-figure advance for his collection of essays (tentatively titled Killing with Kindness).

Like many corporate professionals, Piku has an opinion on everything, including바카라�and especially on바카라�topics outside his core domain. 바카라�You guys write such crap,바카라� he once told me at an industry event. 바카라�You call yourself the editor of The Awesome Times바카라�the best newspaper in the country바카라�but it바카라�s impossible to read your reporters바카라� copies. Real Writing, you see ...바카라� He pauses. 바카라�Well, scratch that, why don바카라�t you come to my office someday? I바카라�ll teach you a thing or two.바카라�

When I meet him a few months later, however, Piku doesn바카라�t cut a picture of poise but anxiety. Pacing his 17th floor office in Gurgaon, he tells me, 바카라�She hasn바카라�t replied. It바카라�s been weeks!바카라� She who? Priyatama (name changed to protect her identity), a renowned figure in the Delhi lit circle바카라�or, as Piku calls it, 바카라�the wine sippin바카라�, culture drippin바카라�바카라� crowd바카라�whose literary novels have brought her as much fame as her fierce activism. Piku first saw her at a book launch바카라�he hates such events; he was only there to network with the Walrus folks바카라�and since then, life has not been the same. 바카라�It felt like,바카라� he tells me, 바카라�someone added three more slides to my deck.바카라� He wanted to impress her the old way, the 바카라�pure바카라� way. So Piku Mhatre wrote a letter바카라�a love letter.

바카라�Dear Priyatama,

Trust this note finds you well. As someone who hates drinking the Kool-Aid바카라�and loves blue sky thinking바카라�I decided to leverage my core competencies to check if our synergies are in alignment with respect to some actionable items I want to bring to the table today. I hope my brain-dump doesn바카라�t offend you. I could have put it all on a backburner and circled back to you later, but I thought the only way to herd the cats, which have been feasting on my pain-points for quite some time, was to write you a simple and direct letter.

Of course, I바카라�m not reinventing the wheel (which reminds me, I bought a new car the day before) or cascading information바카라�all I바카라�m trying to do is move the needle. Since I바카라�ve a lot of skin in this game, I won바카라�t hold back and open the kimono. It바카라�s the only way to put a hard stop to this burning platform because, after all, I do want you on board. Ever since I saw you speak at the book launch last week, your deep dive into many social issues has not left my mind. So I want to run this idea up the flagpole: Would it be possible to take this conversation offline?

I바카라�m aware that before green-lighting my proposal you must be wondering, 바카라�What deliverables can this guy come up with바카라�what is his North Star strategy?바카라� To which I바카라�d first say, Congratulations. I always knew you were as sharp as your looks. And you바카라�d be right, as nothing in this world is worth pursuing without the fitment or cost analysis. I know we바카라�re as different as stakeholders and employees바카라�you바카라�re Left, I바카라�m Right; I see vikas, you say bakwaas바카라�but I see endless potentiality in this meeting of two great minds.

I do have some questions though. So over one-on-one coffee, where I won바카라�t boil the ocean one bit, I바카라�d straightaway ask you something simple: Is your ideology sustainable and scalable? Perhaps we can also drill down into something you so care for and ask, 바카라�What바카라�s so wrong in serving a company when the entire country is becoming a corporation?바카라� I바카라�d also like to peel the onion on a particularly low-hanging fruit and would love to explain to you바카라�at length바카라�how you바카라�ve been so misled about Article 770.

Please let me know if this proposed meeting interests you. If not, I can perhaps revert with another missive that will change your mind because ... it바카라�s only words but words are all I have to take your heart away.

Warm regards,
Piku Mhatre.바카라�

As I finished reading the letter, the room plunged into a deeper silence. Piku spoke after some time: 바카라�What wrong did I do? Isn바카라�t this Real Writing바카라�a perfect letter? I hope you can print it as it is, so others can learn.바카라� Just then, a sound of an email notification. We both check our phones. I바카라�ve got nothing.

바카라�Priyatama!바카라� Piku says.

바카라�Wow. Read it.바카라�

바카라�I바카라�m not sure what it is though.바카라�

바카라�Just read it.바카라�

바카라�Dear Piku, your email left me speechless. Quite literally. I must have re-read it over a dozen times to reply, but I failed each time. And no, your brain-dump didn바카라�t offend me. It did remind me of a song though바카라�one that I바카라�d like to end this email with, just like you had바카라�Goli maar bheje mein/ Ke bheja shor karta hai.바카라�

바카라�And?바카라� I ask.

바카라�And what? That바카라�s it.바카라�

There are moments in life when hilarity, surprise, and confusion coalesce into a sliver of a second. This is that moment for me바카라�a moment that, for Piku, has the laborious longevity of a prison sentence. He asks: 바카라�Why don바카라�t these writer-types ever talk normally? Why don바카라�t they simply say what they mean? So insecure, so scared. Always calculating, forever hiding. It바카라�s like words are not words anymore.바카라� He then stands up, turns his back towards me, and looks at the gleaming high-rises. 바카라�That바카라�s the problem with the world these days: We think so much that we바카라�ve forgotten to feel.바카라�

(This appeared in the print as 'The Fault In Our Synergies')