Battle Of The Sexes

First, a real incident, with a Rashomon-like many-­sidedness. This is one side, the male side, as retold by a professor at a university in Delhi in the centre of it. Not known to hold back his words, he recently asked a woman student not to smoke marijuana바카라�or make out, depending on the version바카라�on campus. The conversation was clumsy from the word go, he admits. He was adm­onitory in his tone, she got up on her feet and danced a little mocking jig then and there. He said he would not hesitate to slap her. Then, in turn, the student threatened to slap him...with charges of sexual harassment.

Nothing got out. (Not even the girl바카라�s version.) A call to 바카라�her dad바카라� smoothed out things, but he바카라�s left with an unsettled feeling. 바카라�There exists here the difference between story and myth바카라�one is scientific, factual, verifiable. The other is imaginary.바카라�

Not all imaginary, of course. To witness long columns of young women and men march into the streets against gender-based harassment is to watch a thousand flowers bloom, so to speak, at picket lines in universities across India바카라�a JNU here, a Banaras Hindu University there바카라�or to watch committees keep vigil over hard-won mixed-gender office spaces. Even to enc­o­unter online the 바카라�informal바카라� testimonies of women speaking out against the abuse they have faced바카라�all this can be terrifying and comforting at the same time. Even lathicharges and skunk-­water cannons have not dampened the clarion call against sexual abuse, by all accounts a rampant phenomenon in Indian institutions. It바카라�s valuable: the injection into the public space of accounts by women of the vexing circumstances they face forces everybody to bear witness to the other, disempowering, side of women at the workplace. Still, after a series of inc­idents that ravaged reputations on social media, it바카라�s evident that all this comes wrapped in doubt, introspection, even fear.

It바카라�s a terrible paradox. Perhaps the most empowering sign of the 20th century바카라�s socio-economic gains바카라�women joining the formal workforce on an equal footing바카라�has given rise to the troubling phenomenon of workplace harassment. Male entitlement is a reality, as is an almost structural kind of female victimhood. But as modern India navigates the risky terrain of debate, one aspect has perhaps gone unaddressed. A kind of inversion of a basic legal principle seems to operate whenever allegations of sexual harassment are made바카라�instead of innocence, it바카라�s guilt that is presumed. It바카라�s not just that there is a rush to judgement: as the Indian chapter of #MeToo and a spate of other cases showed, accusation and judgement collapse into one. The whole process of arriving at a judgement shrinks to naught. The accused stands automatically damned.

The ambiguous territory of sexuality바카라�where both sides can be complicit in a sense바카라�tends to get denied here. So does the possibility of false allegations. No wonder then the male gaze is justifiably dissolving into fear. Can women 바카라�use바카라� the law? Only the most essentialised scrutiny will deny this happens. The nature of the crime바카라�it바카라�s not always the case that a paper trail or electronic footprint is available to judge the crime by바카라�is such that often there is only the accusing woman바카라�s testimony to go by. This lies at the core of doubts and anxieties amidst the pol­arisation between genders unfolding in universities, courtrooms and offices. One consequence is a kind of institutional blowback, where the very difficult gains made by the feminist movement are themselves at some risk of being forfeited.

Witness the Supreme Court opining on the dangers inh­erent in asking for the automatic arrest of husbands and in-laws in dowry cases. Or high courts that find much is wrong when a young woman ext­ends a 바카라�long hug바카라� to a male friend. The fodder also arrives in the form of women who approach the courts바카라�though they are leg­ally entitled to do this바카라�alleging rape when the man seduced her, or when she engaged in consensual sex only because the man had promised marriage. The courts are all too often finding it hard to digest such instances as a form of 바카라�rape바카라�바카라�the Gujarat High Court reiterated the doubt this week.

Yes, the law does not operate the way it should바카라�the conviction rate for rape is just 24 per cent. But there isn바카라�t yet an acknowledgement of the fact that a man named as an offender in any sexual crime is also destroyed in a certain way. It바카라�s almost as if it were a sort of psychological judo, a sport in which a tiny person (the woman) can overturn the bigger person. The effect of this: a kind of rampant male self-doubt. This also becomes a warning to those who tread a fuzzy line, who deliberately cultivate amb­iguity in word or deed. Male-female polarisation exists even in the west, so it바카라�s not just an Indian phenomenon.

바카라�Women will 바카라�use바카라� the law as it바카라�s their only route to revenge, hence we see cases of abandonment of partners emerge as rape trials. It바카라�s the woman, the weaker one, getting even,바카라� says Deepak Mehta, head, department of sociology at Shiv Nadar University.  And yet the police, a state institution, also 바카라�uses바카라� the law바카라�in cases of elopement, for instance, especially those  involving minors, the police routinely use the law of abduction 바카라�in a peculiarly perverse way바카라�.

How, then, should civil society, which wants laws but no witch-hunt, strategise for attaining gender justice? The khap panchayats address the issue in one way. MeToo perhaps hews closer to the other extreme. A list of 바카라�offenders바카라� that made no distinction between the different items that feature on it. 바카라�If it is a list of powerful men, then it itself usurps power, leaving no room for debate,바카라� says Mehta. He is absolutely clear that he does not condone the behaviour of sexual offenders, merely pointing out that such a list eventually relies on the integrity of the lister, inviting unsavoury explanations for why it was drawn up.

Poet-anthologist Sudeep Sen was recently acc­used by a younger female poet of harassment바카라�unwanted proposals and ignored rejections, which Sen vehemently den­ies. 바카라�The charges reek of falsehood, mala fide intent and are a complete fabrication of her imagination.  They have no basis or proof. I feel very wronged and deeply hurt by them. No formal complaint has been filed바카라�it was just a wild rant on Facebook, and people joined in, acting as judge and jury in a kangaroo court, with their knee-jerk instant response and condemnation,바카라� he says. Since the accusation surfaced, the poet community has been split. One side withdrew from the anthology he was working on. The other, he informs, has been sending him gifts and flowers. 바카라�Many people are saying her allegations have to do with her achieving no status as a poet, remaining obscure in this field,바카라� he says. (See box for the woman바카라�s response)

The other fear is that the laws related to sexual harassment, dowry and domestic violence, for example, are making relationships between men and women fraught at work and within the family. All of last week, the case of a Karnataka first-class magistrate and her male superior was in the headlines바카라�she had accused him of sexual harassment; a 바카라�false바카라� complaint, says one side, filed only after he had reported her for misconduct. The whole thing has got caught up in the high-profile fight between the Centre and the Supreme Court collegium. The male judge was cleared in a probe once, but the Union law ministry raked it up again바카라�the woman judge, meanwhile, told Outlook: 바카라�I have not got justice.바카라� Another test-case filled with indeterminacy.

Males now testify to a fear of proximity with females in formal spaces, even of hiring women. The concern reached its crescendo after the MeToo list last October. 바카라�This so-called fear,바카라� says Vrinda Grover, senior advocate, Supreme Court, 바카라�predates MeToo.바카라� While acknowledging misuse of law, she would rather put the focus on the 바카라�documented underuse바카라� of law. In her mind, it바카라�s an institutional 바카라�backlash바카라� to women actually pushing for their rights. 바카라�The list only flagged that due process has to work harder to increase women바카라�s access to legal recourse. The fear among men was certainly not created by it.바카라�

Grover was recently approached by students and professors from JNU who had been protesting against Atul Johri, a professor charged with sexual harassment by at least eight students and researchers. 바카라�When internal mechanisms failed,the  students went to the pol­ice. But Johri was granted bail within an hour,바카라� she says. The details are significant as the law distinguishes between the level of truth required from a complainant in a case being examined by an institution바카라�s internal complaints committee (ICC) versus a criminal case filed with the police. The first, a civil matter, sets a lower bar, and relies in a sense on probability. In criminal complaints, the requirement is of truth 바카라�beyond reasonable doubt바카라�. Also, the ICC cannot reveal names of eit­her parties to the disputed occurrences. Criminal cases, being a matter of public record, give no such protection to the accused.

바카라�If Johri sought protection of his identity, he should have submitted to the ICC,바카라� Grover says. What she means is, in such cases, women are seen by the law to have much more at stake than the men they accuse and to argue against this is to withdraw legal protections from women altogether. 바카라�Our Constitution overlays rights for women and Dalits over a feudal country unaccustomed to seeing them or the poor as rights-bearers. That is why we can think they 바카라�misuse바카라� the law,바카라� she says. Her prognosis is not encouraging: 바카라�If today there is a referendum on the Constitution we would not be able to keep it. It would be rejected.바카라�

Lawyers and activists see the crisis-level attention on gender laws as a sign of being on the cusp of change. It바카라�s not the 바카라�chaos바카라� of protests or the heavy-handed police response that worries them. The concern, which often surfaces as a dispute within feminist-lawyer circles, is that 바카라�tragedy should not get routinised바카라�, in the words of Supreme Court advocate Rebecca John.

She is referring to both the Aarushi murder case and MeToo. Acquittal for the Talwars, after years of incarceration, was a big reversal whereas their earlier conviction was all but foretold in the scandalous media coverage of the Aarushi case. On MeToo, feminists had to negotiate the tricky question of whether 바카라�The List바카라� undermined criminal jurisprudence. 바카라�It was easy for India to come together for a case like Nirbhaya, it was so brutal, there were no shades of grey. But in an array of other cases, there can바카라�t but be complicated, problematic facts and our res­ponse to them depends on which side we바카라�re on,바카라� says John. Right now, she says, a complex phase is under way, where politics too has a role. 바카라�As a criminal lawyer I cannot undermine due process. Guilt is pronounced by courts, not announced in lists. That doesn바카라�t mean I don바카라�t understand how due process has let women down.바카라�

The problem begins with how any naming inherently carries an element of shaming. Also, how to define what offence has taken place and how to moderate responses from women accordingly. 바카라�There is sexism, there is sexual harassment, there is moral policing. Not everything is sexual harassment and yet a lot that happens is. One side doesn바카라�t have patience, the other side lacks understanding. We바카라�ve sadly come to a stage where you can바카라�t put across a sane point. Even the worst criminal deserves a trial,바카라� says John.

Around 20 women students in Ram Manohar Lohia National Law University (RMLNLU), Lucknow, have been grappling with these questions since last year. They have acc­used two senior members of the administration with sexual harassment and moral policing. Says an angry complainant, 바카라�One of the accused would check out girls, especially their breasts, making them uncomfortable. They tell us it amounts to sexual harassment only if sexual favours are dem­anded. So what was it when girls were threatened that their parents will be told that they have boyfriends? Not harassment? Plus, lewd comments were made and twenty students complained, not a small number바카라�was this sexism, moral policing or harassment?바카라�

One RMLNLU professor insists the answer cannot be divined externally바카라�simply because the internal complaints committee has not shared its final report with the complainants or the accused, as required by law, though the deliberations were over months ago. Another professor says there will always be differences in perceptions and definitions바카라�the two sides are not just males and females, but are tied in formal ways, and, RMLNLU being a residential campus, spend a lot of time together. 바카라�If a boy and girl hold hands or walk around at night that바카라�s no offence even if some in the administration have a problem with it. Moral perceptions vary, it can바카라�t become an excuse to curtail young people바카라�s liberties,바카라� he says.

바카라�Three of the women made motivated complaints against me and I want to take action against them. I never asked for sexual favours. I want to get the police intelligence reports of their protests last year and nail them for conspiracy,바카라� says one of the accused, who says he has 바카라�found out from sources바카라� that the ICC has absolved him. A complainant responds: 바카라�The law has not restricted sexual harassment to touch. But now my parents want me to lie low since he is threatening with lawsuits.바카라� His behaviour, the students say, remains unchanged.

바카라�In university after university I find similar problems, of adm­inistrations blocking due process in different ways,바카라� says senior advocate Flavia Agnes. Academic institutions often don바카라�t even publicise a code of behavior, she says 바카라�They should be conducive to healthy behaviour and the law gives broad guidelines on how to do this. Beyond this, institutions are supposed to find their own way but this almost never happens.바카라�

Some answers are coming from the very places where the anxieties radiate from바카라�the cla­ss­rooms. Madhavi Menon, an English professor at Ashoka University, asks her class to consider several possible responses and talk about structu­ral change instead of quid pro quo. 바카라�Sexual harassment generates powerlessness and our response is not always that you, the male, are the aggressor and I, the female, a victim, but that I, the woman, have to be strong enough to say no,바카라� she says. Menon emphatically adds that the cumulative effect of male behaviour바카라�which is often bad바카라�generates the narrative of weak women and predatory men. 바카라�India has a shocking history of not listening to women, which has led to the conflicts playing out today,바카라� Menon says. Take the phenomenon of women complaining about sexual crimes years after they took place. 바카라�It is sad so many could not speak out for years,바카라� says Menon. 바카라�They are speaking out now because instead of being told to say 바카라�I was too weak바카라� or 바카라�no바카라� we are taught to shut up and say nothing.바카라�

The arc extends from saying nothing to an excess of speech. An online troll바카라�s crude expressions of sexual assault and fantasy, for instance, are a kind of scripted emotional experience played out before the public, generating even more disorder. What about the offline world? With a boss, colleague or associate, people forget that what they may share is not 바카라�love바카라� but proximity. Desire, it can be argued, always forces men and women to get familiar with what is not-so-good within them. New rules, fresh taboos are needed to cope with the changing legal and social landscape; anything else amounts to playing a dicey game. This is why, while inappropriate touch always existed, its acceptability has changed. 바카라�To speak against it is now seen as courageous, empowering and worthy of validation,바카라� says Mumbai-based psychiatrist Harish Shetty. 바카라�Women who 바카라�use바카라� their femininity still exist, as do awakened women. Between them, the zone of harassment is not black or white but includes a whole lot of consent, explicit and implied,바카라� he says. Whether ICC meetings or a psychologist바카라�s couch are better equipped to handle every nuance and ambiguity between men and women is a question he raises.

Gender conflicts in the workplace arise from mundane activities: travelling or drinking tog­ether etc. Shetty advises caution on each front as a response to how today바카라�s laws reg­ard these areas of long cohabitation with pot­ential for conflict. 바카라�Emotional and physical closeness generate relationships at work but when things collapse바카라�often when the man finds another emotional interest바카라�the woman may feel used. This can result in a complaint to HR,바카라� he says. 바카라�At the same time, men are predators바카라�big predators.바카라�

He has encountered consent, force, part-consent, part-force, and shades in-between among those who come to his clinic. To men, he advises short, not long, one-on-one meetings with fem­ale colleagues, especially if the man is in a position of power. When drinking together, he suggests heading from the bar to the bedroom, alone, preferably with same-sex chaperones. No visiting opposite-sex colleagues at home alone. No comments about women colleague바카라�s sari or nail polish. 바카라�Ten years ago I didn바카라�t have to give such suggestions. Now the law is reshaping people바카라�s attitudes, so behaviour has to change,바카라� he says.

Still, discourses are shaped by the powerful, not the marginalised, which is why men expect women to allay their 바카라�fears바카라�. 바카라�My advice바카라�men must learn to exercise restraint. Women will survive without your sexist jokes, keep them to yourselves. If a woman can learn that she cannot go for a walk at midnight, then a man can learn to change too,바카라� says Grover.

A new protocol to control behaviour is thus necessary because at the root of the issue is desire. This, of course, puts an end to a certain kind of spontaneity, to self-censoring. 바카라�Men are more mindful and watchful. The conflict arises because the law tries to police desire, the foundation of erotic love, which can prove impossible to control,바카라� Mehta explains.

Conflicts can sharpen with public figures, who enjoy a form of power. Shamir Reuben, a rising star in spoken poetry circles, was accused of sexual abuse by scores of women a month ago. When the incidents took place a couple of years ago, some of the complainants were minors. 바카라�I knew Shamir well at the time. He had told me he had met a 16-year-old girl. I didn바카라�t interfere bec­ause he made it sound consensual,바카라� says a former female co-student. With time, Shamir seemed less benign as other 16-year-olds surfaced in his narrations. He was already an adult at the time. One day, he tried to 바카라�push his tongue down my throat,바카라� says this former friend, now 22. She kept away from him thereafter. Then, many months on, she 바카라�forgave바카라� him and resumed friendly contact. 바카라�I felt I was making too much of something바카라�so many people had anyway said I was over-reacting.바카라� But once the stream of accusations emerged on social media, she regretted her ambivalence. 바카라�I should have spoken out long back. Now I joined the others in speaking out,바카라� she says.

Within her close-knit circle of people who knew Shamir (he did not respond to a request for comment) they are not as forgiving of Harnidh Kaur, a young policy wonk and writer, who was known to be a close friend of Shamir바카라�s and has a large social media footprint. Harnidh did speak out against Shamir on Twitter and is no apologist for the 바카라�old boys바카라� network바카라� either. But her statement was not perceived as strong enough and she faced some serious whiplash on Twitter. But Harnidh herself is critical of 바카라�older feminists바카라�, a term born after some experienced feminists differed with the MeToo method. 바카라�There is a crucial difference between being told I was not speaking out strongly enough against Shamir and Nivedita Menon, who used her platform to absolve an offender (Lawrence Liang) and hit back at those accusing him with remarks like 바카라�fingertip바카라� feminists,바카라� she says. (Liang, a professor at Ambedkar University, told Outlook: 바카라�I am appealing the process, and so I am bound by confidentiality.바카라�)

The case against Shamir was built entirely on social media바카라�with volumes, veracity didn바카라�t remain a concern. But compla­inants say it바카라�s not about seeking retribution. They chose the online medium because they lack faith in police and courts, where it바카라�s often the victims who suffer the ignominy of being named and shamed. 바카라�I think it바카라�s usually just about closure,바카라� says a complainant, a young woman who was one of the first to speak out. 바카라�Talking about it helps let go and move on.바카라�

바카라�People who oppose women speaking out on public platfo­rms about abuse discount the power of catharsis,바카라� adds Harnidh. 바카라�I feel if even that much was done for women who spoke out it amounts to work done, mission accomplished.바카라�

By Pragya Singh in New Delhi