Navigating Lives, Negotiating Desires At Patna Pride Parade

바카라�Should I wear a sari or a western dress for the Parade? I also have a performance to give. I hope I don바카라�t mess it up,바카라� Masoom muttered as she sat down to catch her breath. She works at Satrangi Dostana Restaurant, Bakarganj, Patna, which is run by individuals from the trans community. This community-based organisation was registered by the Bihar government in June 2021 under the 1860 Act and is supported by Patna Municipal Corporation (PMC). I met Masoom at the restaurant a day before the Pride Parade in Patna.

This Parade has been held in Bihar for the last eight years. This year, Patna Pride Parade took place in July. Dostanasafar, an NGO, was the organiser. Reshma Prasad, trans rights activist, social worker and member of the National Council for Trangender Persons is the founder secretary of Dostanasafar. A team led by Prasad organised the only Pride Parade in and of Bihar.

Sitting cross-legged at the restaurant, wearing skin-coloured stockings, a black pencil skirt, a grey top and her hair pulled up into a bun, Masoom told me her village is in Danapur, Bihar. 바카라�When I was six or seven years old I was sent to the boys바카라� hostel. I was a boy then. I mean, born as a boy. I felt uncomfortable at that hostel and I told my mother about it.바카라� Masoom was then shifted to a co-ed hostel. 바카라�When I was younger and presented as a boy, people used to mock me for my body language, the way I talked. Now, I often pass as a girl, and if someone tries to bully me, I reply at once,바카라� she said.

At 13, Suresh Yadav (the name Masoom바카라�s biological parents gave her), realised she was not a cis man. 바카라�I came to know about myself. My father told me it is not real, what I felt.바카라� He was not ready to accept 바카라�his son바카라� as the girl that Masoom is. Her body and her life were outrageous to her family. Her father strongly disapproved.

Masoom바카라�s Dream has the Fragrance of Gajra

Masoom is now almost 19, a student of standard twelfth, has filled up the Bihar Police form and is preparing for the qualifying exam. Very recently, the provision of hiring one trans person for every 500 cis people has been introduced in the Bihar Police. Trans people have been clubbed under the OBC category. Many trans activists including Reshma Prasad and Grace Banu from Tamil Nadu have protested against this. They demand a vertical reservation for trans people.

Masoom바카라�s life is centered around studying, working at the restaurant and living at Garima Griha hostel. She finds a mother figure and a guardian in Reshma Prasad. 바카라�My mother has somewhat accepted me. My father has not. I live like other girls and don바카라�t do anything that my family should be ashamed of. I bear my own expenses by working this part-time job. I also study,바카라� she said.

Masoom had met Reshma Prasad in Danapur three years ago. 바카라�The hostel was a few kilometres away from my home. I went to her one day and told her that my family doesn바카라�t accept me but I have accepted myself.바카라� With this conversation Masoom바카라�s journey was linked to Prasad.

Masoom continued to live with her parents until she turned a major. 바카라�The hormone injections cost a thousand rupees, the price depends on many factors like which city you are in, etc. For the surgery, one needs more money. My surgery was arranged by Reshma Ma바카라�am. At Garima Griha, we receive help from the government too,바카라� she said.

Masoom wants to live like any 바카라�normal girl바카라�. A 19-year-old who has to wear a sari and perform a classical dance piece would prefer white, fragrant gajra adorning her hair. So, she was desperate to get a string of gajra on the day of the Parade. It was raining heavily that afternoon and we walked to the local market. We could not find a natural gajra or an alternative to it. We returned with a tube of alta, a bindipatta and
green bangles.

바카라�You look like a local model바카라�, joked Yogi (name changed), Masoom바카라�s friend. He works at the restaurant too.

바카라�Yogi is my friend, my brother, my love, my everything바카라�바카라�

바카라�Everything?바카라� Yogi laughed.

Yogi is a trans man from Haryana. He looks between the age of 20 to 25. Yogi wasn바카라�t willing to talk about his past. I could see marks of blade cuts on his arms. They looked like remnants of self-harm. His village is near Panipat and his family has cut off all contact with him.

Secret Lives or True Desire?

Arman and Anil (names changed) are nineteen and in love. In 2023, they went for the Patna Parade, their first Pride Parade so far. 바카라�We have not told our families about this. We have come here from Darbhanga,바카라� they said. Arman and Anil met at a party and fell in love 바카라�at first sight바카라�, 바카라�pehli nazar ka pyaar바카라� as they call it. 바카라�We will run away, do any kind of work but never marry a girl,바카라� they swore. Anil explained, 바카라�I will not be able to keep the woman happy, it won바카라�t be fair to her either.바카라�

Their love story would have easily been named love jihad by conservative Hindu nationalists if it were a heterosexual tale of inter-faith romance.

At the Patna Parade, I also met Diwakar Bhatt (first name changed). Bhatt stays in Patna to prepare for government jobs. 바카라�I did my BA and MA from Delhi University. I came to Patna only a year ago. It feels lonely here, I don바카라�t have many friends.바카라�

Thirty-year-old Bhatt has no safe space to talk about how he feels about his sexuality. 바카라�I like foreplay with men. However, I바카라�ve had sex only with women,바카라� he said. He asked me to send him some writings in Hindi on gay sex if I have any. 바카라�If there is anyone who can meet me secretly in Patna, please let me know.바카라� When I asked him why he wants to keep his intimate relationship details a secret, he said, 바카라�I fear society.바카라�

I wondered if Bhatt, unlike Anil and Arman who are more aware of their desires, would settle for a heterosexual marriage. Would he succumb to societal pressure and keep living a parallel secret life like many gay men in cities like Patna do?

***

I met Ranjan (name changed) at a queer party on the evening of the 13th. He is a 30-year-old cis gay man. He was wearing a beautiful red sari and a flamboyant nose ring and was twerking to Bolly­wood numbers. Ranjan바카라�s friends told me he is married. He attends such parties without revealing this part of his life or self to anyone from his family.

As many as 70 per cent of gay men in Mumbai get married before turning 30, according to a study conducted by Humsafar Trust. In two-tier cities, this percentage rises to as much as 80 per cent.

It is hard to imagine the negotiations of desires and identity that a queer or/and trans person living in a two-tier city or rural areas of Bihar has to make in order to survive. Kabir Maan, a gender educator who has worked with NGOs, the government and private schools told me, 바카라�Cis gay men enjoy some privileges of being cis men, they are at the top of the hierarchy within the LGBTQ community. In many cases, their families know about their sexuality and still go forward with marriage. Being men, they have to keep the family lineage going. I know many such gay men who live dual lives. The younger gay men like the ones you met at Patna Pride Parade embody the true meaning of Pride resistance.바카라� He added, 바카라�I have been to the Jaipur Pride Parade and the Himachal one. In the villages in the hills, everyone knows everyone. Hence, the Himachal organisers were worried about the number of people who would turn up. However, many came. People from villages and two-tier cities of Punjab and Haryana joined in.바카라� In 2021, Himachal Pradesh organised its first pride parade in Palampur.

바카라�I have been regularly going to the Delhi Pride Parade. Pride is resistance which is exposed through various gender expressions, singing and sloganeering, but in Delhi, when people gather at the end to talk, to address the issue of rights and grassroot movements, very few are there to engage with it. Most people leave by that time.바카라� Kabir is a trans man who dreams of reaching the farthest villages of India and sensitising people about gender and sexuality. 바카라�A 바카라�Kabir바카라� must be there in a village in Bihar somewhere, but how do we reach them?바카라� Kabir바카라�s question is also the dream that he nurses for the community.

(Views expressed are personal)

Aishwarya Raj is a philosophy student at Delhi university