Doc, Please Talk To My Dad

often wonder what it would have been like to come of age in today바카라�s world. My own experience oscillates between an all girls school coyness and the bra-snapping bravado exhibited by the nastier boys in the co-educational school I finished at. Hence, it is to my embarrassment that I often display naivete in response to the younger generation바카라�s sexual awareness. At a recent dinner party, an 11-year-old girl with a plump and wide-eyed disposition cosied up to me and admitted that one of the best things about a recent film based on my screenplay were the naked torso shots of Ranbir Kapoor. Although in general agreement, I was still at a loss. Having none of my own, I am inclined to think of children as little people. But this time, the pedantic voice in my head warned: 바카라�This is not a conversation we should be having.바카라� I was spared the trauma of having to give a response when she scurried away upon the arrival of her mother. 바카라�Mom바카라� apologised discreetly for the clumsy carriage of her dinner duties and her lamentable reduction to barking orders because of her period. It forbade her entry into the kitchen. Nestled as I was between the two generations and their moments of unguarded feminine confidences, I contemplated ways to take the conversation forward. The little one바카라�s censorious glances did nothing to aid the offsetting of my absent gift of repartee. At least one thing was familiar, there were still things that mothers were not telling daughters and daughters were not telling mothers.

But was that a fair assumption? My friend Sarita, mother to both an 11-year-old and a nine-year-old, is often regaling me with stories of her travails as a mother. Most recently, it was the dreaded sex talk at her son바카라�s school. She is all for sex education and, as it turns out, the sex ed team made up 20 per cent of the class at this posh school. The school, recognising the contentiousness of the issue, had elected to share the presentation with the parents first and the kids after. What amazed and amused her in equal measure was the session바카라�s metamorphosis into a class on sex education for the parents. Thirtysomethings asked the most basic questions바카라�and listened in rapt engagement바카라�as the debate about 바카라�too much information바카라� was forgotten. How did they ever manage to make babies, she wonders.

However, my friend had her own lesson to learn. Over the weekend following the class, her son studiously avoided his parents. Deciding this state of affairs could not continue into the week, she cornered him into a conversation. His reply? He had known about 바카라�this stuff바카라� all along. When his friend had told him in class two that his mother and father 바카라�do it바카라�, he had refused to believe him. And now that he knew it to be true, he was just too embarrassed to look at them.

Class two?? Really? I decide to speak to Dr Sudhakar Krishnamurti (Dr K), author of Sex is Not a Four-Letter Word and a leading andrologist and sexual health expert. He was once my paediatrician too바카라�the way doctor uncles and aunts become when you are a kid with an early onset of hypochondria. He doesn바카라�t find this phenomenon surprising. Sexuality has become biologically and psychologically precocious and it is mostly conservative parents who 바카라�struggle바카라� with this aspect of raising a child. Enlightened parents move with the times and their kids become as comfortable with their sexuality as their parents. But there are other social networks that influence sexual awareness and, to some extent, play a role in shaping a child바카라�s sexuality바카라�the other day, my grocer was grumbling about the state of television serials and how he can바카라�t watch a show with his kids in the same room.

And then there is the issue of including sex education in school curriculums and whether it really is the right way to go. Dr K counters that sexual education starts in the cradle and ends in the grave. It can never come too early but can and often is too late. Besides, there바카라�s always an age-appropriate sexual education model. I decide to enquire about his own experiences as a father of two girls. His advice: 바카라�Just don바카라�t make a fuss about it.바카라� At times, he would walk into a room and encounter 바카라�female speak바카라�바카라�and it would continue as before despite his presence. But while that might work with doctor dad, one wonders if it would pass muster with, for instance, banker dad? 바카라�Look,바카라� he says, 바카라�one cannot be comfortable with the subject of sex unless they are comfortable with their own sexuality.바카라�

With the onus placed so squarely in the parents바카라� corner, it just seems like additional pressure. But as Dr K reminds me, parents need to wake up and realise the days of the 바카라�Chee, chee, get your hands off your pee pee바카라� culture are over.

(Advaita Kala is a bestselling novelist.)