Selfie Sex On The WiFi

The Jain household can바카라�t seem to wait to retire for the night after a long day and a light dinner. The hallway door is locked, the curtains drawn, the dining table cleared. Mr Jain바카라�s old parents have taken their medicines and withdrawn to their room already바카라�they sleep early바카라�and now it바카라�s light out for their grandkids too. Mr and Mrs Jain, in their mid-40s, heave a sigh of fond relief, give each other a knowing smile and finally yield to the imperceptible force that seems to be impelling them to move in a pre-­ordained fashion.

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The bedroom waits, already cooled by the air-­conditioner. Finally, they have some time to call their own. Their own time and space바카라�but also shared. Like those old boudoirs in Europe, from where scenes of an intimate and erotic nature were once captured by photographic lens for the delectation of a closed circle, these moments of private delight are sworn to be semi-public.

For, miles away in another home, Mr and Mrs Sen are primed for play too. They have gone about a ­similar winding-up routine, outwardly mundane, almost stoic. But past visions have been rolling before their mind바카라�s eye, and they are feeling a bit warm in anticipation as they undress, lay down on their bed in the dimly lit room and wait for the smartphone to come alive.

Ping! The Jains are on the line. Also stark naked바카라�.

It바카라�s the IMO video calling app. The couples바카라�both married for over two decades, but well-kept바카라�now go on air, sort of. You could call it the Jain and Sen Show. Except, they are the producers as well as sole consumers. For almost an hour, the couples live-stream their intimate moments for each other바카라�s benefit. Finally sated, they murmur their good nights with a promise to be back for another visually shared bout of sex and drift off to sleep바카라�exhausted but content.

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What the Jains and the Sens did, or do occasionally for fun, is like the surplus voltage surge one gets at the end. Before that, underlying that, is a sudden torrent of water, gushing in, hitting everything in sight, changing everything familiar. To begin with, we are all neck-deep in a new 바카라�Cam Culture바카라�. If ancient cultures left behind little grey potsherds for us to read and interpret their societies, we will leave behind millions of .JPEG and .MOV files, holding all our secrets and fantasies and Aadhaar card numbers.

And it바카라�s changing the way we think and behave바카라�this en masse digitalisation of our 바카라�selfs바카라�, the way we now routinely record and transfer bits of ourselves into data. Our narcissism is not fulfilled by merely looking at the mirror: the mirror must click us. Each instant of our being must be rendered as a visual바카라�and we feast on this endless collage ourselves. Selfies are shot by us, for us. The transition to video was a no-brainer. And now, the floodwaters are moving the turbines of society in even stranger ways. Sexuality too has been swallowed up by the digital hall of mirrors!

It바카라�s nothing sinister바카라�just that, within their safe spaces, couples are behaving like felines gone feral. The animal spirits of a 바카라�selfie sex바카라� cult have been loosed. Couples are recording themselves in the act, sometimes for a little deferred live show for themselves. Or making whoopee on live cam바카라�conscious of its all-seeing eye and interacting with it바카라�and live-streaming this to other couples, also in the throes of sex. Also, like them, getting off by simultaneously watching and being seen. Framed in an actor/spectator duality.

Old sexual mores were anyway dissolving in urban India바카라�but this crosses a new rubicon. Selfie sex offers the known pleasures of plain-vanilla voyeurism, while at once trawling the deeper realms of exhibitionism. That바카라�s the extra buzz. The old resort, pornography, had anyway spawned fatigue and boredom. Watching surgically enhanced actors faking it in endlessly mechanised바카라�often degrading바카라�ways had its limits. A lot of it veered towards the negative in humankind: misogyny, racism, communalism (see 바카라�Totem Weds Taboo). Not the ideal, authentic companion to those with an interest in pure sexuality. It바카라�s this emptiness the new cult has come to fill.

So what happens to the old norms of intimacy? Relationships? Privacy? It바카라�s all a little wind-blown. If Aadhaar has made the citizen fully transparent, phone cams are stripping the individual of all vestiges of introversion. All are naked in this confessional hamaam. Selfie sex is just the most advanced part of it: it바카라�s avant-sex. Conservative norms were anyway made so as to receive periodic shocks.

How many couples have been smitten by the latest fad? It바카라�s an impossible census to conduct. Those into it testify that their tribe is growing바카라�indeed, your innocuous neighbour or that nerdy colleague could be a member. And what drives a couple to drop all inhibition and hold up intensely private moments to this curious half-light? Are they aware that live-streams could be recorded at the other end and may land on popular free porn sites like Xvideos and Pornhub? Most practitioners are digitally aware people, and know the perils바카라�yet find something irresistible about the lure. Why?

The answer lies in a universal human trait: thrilling and preening to the idea of being watched, being des­ired. Some just happen to be more unabashed in its pursuit and are, in plain-speak, exhibitionistic.

Sociologist Shiv Visvanathan is a tad bothered by it, and says the drawing room and bedroom have merged as mental categories in India. 바카라�This is a frightening thing. Intimacy now is conspicuous consumption! And privacy is just about legal records바카라�. The breakdown of norms would be what French sociologist Émile Durkheim would call the enemy of our society, whether it바카라�s pornography or the everydayness of consuming the sexual act,바카라� he says.

But there바카라�s a significant diffe­rence between the two. Sex is the lowest common denominator in both, but their internal politics can be forged on impulses quite apart (see Paromita Vohra바카라�s interview). Porn entered the Indian bedroom with the boxy VCR in the 1980s, migrated to the whirring CD player and laptop hard drive, and inundated the World Wide Web this century바카라�multiple orgasms were now downloadable on a cellphone for free, bereft of novelty, banalised almost beyond repair. What the couples are giving themselves now is raw, and real.

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For some couples, live-streaming sex바카라�or camming, as it바카라�s known바카라�is bringing the breeze back to their swinging nights. Before they became 바카라�cammers바카라�, the Jains and the Sens were active in Calcutta바카라�s swinger circuit. Their weekly orgies stopped when the owners of the home where they partied sold the property and moved abroad. Finding a safe replacement wasn바카라�t easy. That바카라�s when they found refuge in online video calling platforms such as Skype, WhatsApp, IMO and Facebook. These social networks have revived their romps, albeit virtually. In a way, their scene is swinging again바카라�despite the perils.

Social network Reddit has communities like IndiansGoneWild, where 바카라�Indians come out to play바카라�. A casual scroll will lead to sub-forums: predominantly young users seeking kinky comments, asking Reddit users what they would 바카라�want to do to바카라� them. A Google search can lead you to the American portal Chaturbate (a self-evident portmanteau word), one of the most popular camming sites along with LiveJasmin and BongaCams of Europe. Amazon바카라�s Alexa service ranks Bongacams and Livejasmin as the 11th and 15th most-visited websites in India, above Instagram and Hotstar. Your uncle in Nagpur may pretend to be shocked, but there바카라�s obviously a rutting elephant in the room.

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Some do it for바카라�money. Chaturbate allows users to live-stream sexual acts; viewers pay to watch. Registered users get tips. The website reportedly takes home 40 per cent of the earnings. The pay, along with the perks, is a lure. Media reports suggest an Indian couple made Rs 15 lakh a month via camming. It바카라�s hard to verify: the transactions are a well-guarded secret.

Most are not in it for the ­money. It바카라�s a pure condiment to spice up what could be a boring life. Take Mrs Kutty of Kochi바카라�a homemaker who slips into a different role after sending her medical-student daughter to college and bureaucrat husband to office every morning. She takes risqué selfies on her cellphone, posts them on closed online forums, and gets inundated with a stream of smutty comments and upvotes that motivate her to return with more pictures. Mrs Kutty is discreet about posting pics showing her face. Her full self is offered only to a select group she feels comfortable with. The thought of these images reaching unsuspecting relatives leaves her mortified, naturally.

Exhibitionism is integral to the animal world바카라�s mating rituals: right from the lion바카라�s mane to the peacock바카라�s dance. Modern humans follow strictures against public display of carnal intimacy. There have been exceptions: so-called renegades and advocates of sexual freedom, revelling in transgressive acts such as group sex and spouse-swapping. The laissez faire spirit seems to be spreading in the digital world, as many initiates testify.

바카라�I had this bug of documenting everything. The first time I recorded myself having sex was over five years ago,바카라� says Abhimanyu Agrawal, a 29-year-old photo­grapher in Delhi. 바카라�My partner was fine with it, but we deleted the video later..... It makes you feel good about yourself, about your body. Even if it바카라�s a bad video, you feel you바카라�re looking good.바카라�

Gaurav Shekhar, a 31-year-old data analyst from Gurgaon, and wife Shruti were apprehensive when they recorded the first time around two years ago. Shruti says it was awkward watching that footage, but the inhibitions disappear progressively. 바카라�We weren바카라�t conscious of the camera바카라�s presence later. We were sort of in the moment,바카라� Shekhar chips in. 바카라�We looked like shaven boars the first time, but got used to it!바카라�

People always remember the first recording. 바카라�My first experience was when I was 21,바카라� recalls Priya, a 23-year-old graphic designer. 바카라�It was like you are in possession of some national secret!바카라� For Shashank, a 27-year-old business development manager, it was a secret fantasy that got fulfilled in 2017. Harsh, 27, a marketing professional in Bangalore, did it seven years ago with his girlfriend in college. 바카라�In the middle of it you don바카라�t care if the camera is on or off,바카라� he proffers. Shayan, also a marketing man, shot his first video as a 25-year-old student, thinking it would be 바카라�fun to look at after the deed바카라�. But he was camera-conscious, he confesses. He wanted 바카라�to look extra good바카라�.

Of course, all this is illegal in India. Live-streaming of sex is a crime. The IT Act바카라�s Section 67(A), amen­ded in 2008, states that whoever publishes or transmits in electronic form any sexually explicit material 바카라�shall be punished on first conviction with imprisonment바카라� of up to five years and fined up to Rs 10 lakh. Another good reason for Mrs Kutty to camouflage her face. Sexual rights campaigners spy here the nanny state바카라�s unbearable presence, but nobody denies digital porn바카라�s dark underside: exploitation, especially of children and vulnerable women. A new kind of 바카라�child slavery바카라� is sweeping through several Asian nations such as the Philippines, where UNICEF has found poor families pushing their children into performing live sex online for paedophiles around the globe.

바카라�It바카라�s fine as long as people record for themselves with privacy checks and are discreet about the data in their possession. The moment you share it, you commit an offence,바카라� says cybercrime investigator Anup Giridhar. That바카라�s a bit analogous to the exemption for 바카라�personal consumption바카라� in the case of marijuana.

But the internet바카라�s frontiers are lawless, and it바카라�s in the nature of data to flow. In 2015, hackers lea­ked data from extramarital dating app Ashley Madison, and over 1,20,000 Indians were on it, with Delhi and Mumbai registering just a shade under 70,000 users, Bangalore Mirror reported. Gleeden, a French ext­ramarital dating app launched last year, says it already has 2,80,000 Indian users.

Look up any Indian porn site (if you must). There are dozens of videos of camming couples, whose live videos were recorded in breach of trust and uploa­ded on these portals. It has ruined relationships and triggered court battles, like in September 2017 when a couple바카라�s FB Live sex video attained virality. FB Live? Really? The woman, a textile showroom employee, alleged she was not aware her partner was broadcasting live. The man was arrested. The greyness that surrounds consent in these cases recalls the MMS scandals of a decade and half ago.

Giridhar recalls a case where a couple had to migr­ate to Australia out of humiliation after their videos were leaked. Some cases were plain dangerous. A woman seen 바카라�exercising바카라� live online apparently inv­ited a professor in Manipur to repeat what she was doing and live-stream it back to her. The ransom calls didn바카라�t take long coming. The police tracked down the ­women who were allegedly luring men at the behest of a gang. 바카라�They said they were hired for the job, and that their families would be in danger if they didn바카라�t do as instructed,바카라� the officer says.

Unlike most people Outlook spoke to, Agrawal had no hang-ups about revealing his real name, but fretted when told someone could join the dots and trace his former partner, leading to privacy issues. Agrawal insists he always seeks his partner바카라�s consent. How frequent is a yes? 바카라�Depends from person to person, though people have become more open.바카라� He바카라�s extra cautious too, and always uses Bluetooth or a hard disk to transfer files. 바카라�I even keep my phone disconnected from the internet while recording,바카라� he adds. Agrawal has had a bitter breakup going horribly wrong too. 바카라�She sent me e-mails and accused me of rape just to guilt-trip me into going back to her. The element of consent is hard to gauge in videos. You can edit the audio and make it look like something wrong. That fear is always there,바카라� he says.

바카라�I delete the videos after a while; the phone can be stolen every second day,바카라� says Shashank. Ruhi , 27, and her ex-boyfriend, a colleague, take full care. 바카라�We didn바카라�t really enjoy watching the videos, hence never kept them. In fact, it was gross and we바카라�d judge ourselves; positions, expressions바카라�바카라� she says. What they are transacting with is not fantasy, but hard reality.

Filmmaker Q, who shot to fame in 2010 with the deliberately outre Gandu, was 30 when he made his first personal selfie sex video. Now 43, Q insists it바카라�s not all narcissistic. Capturing the moment, documenting reality바카라�바카라�it becomes academic for me, rather than sex­ual바카라� (see ­interview). Indeed, he used bits from that footage in Love In India (2009). Those hazy frontiers between the self and the other is what sex dissolves anyway. A filmed moment only helps that process along, for a lot of people out there.