A Line Of Control For Women

Classic honour killing, in short. Ins­tead of a regional caste, a nat­ional community feels the anger of someone trespassing on property. Love itself is branded as fake and women, of course, deemed unfit to make that choice. So, a father in Delhi ends his young daughter바카라�s romance by slashing the throat of her boyfriend. Ankit바카라�s girlfriend is in hiding, afraid for her life too, a living symbol of what happens to those who transgress. Before the extra seasoning in the episode바카라�the fact that the woman바카라�s father is a Muslim, which both explains the murder and almost became the only way to decipher it바카라�abates, another middle-aged man masturbates on a bus next to a woman, again in the heart of the capital. (As if she was an image, not a living being.) Fresh outrage is triggered, rinse and repeat. In Bhilwara, Rajasthan, a Jat woman dies of TB, but no one turns up for the funeral. She, a widow, had dared to marry a Dalit. No outrage, rinse and repeat.

Out in the country, it was always crystal-clear, by custom and social decree, that women were mere property, things that belonged to someone or the other, pieces of differently-­abled furniture perhaps, exchangeable as a commodity, meant to be pulled into commission for a giant, enslaving machine. Traditional society was built around systematica­lly confining women바카라�to the home, and allied sectors, strictly delimited. And marriage was a vital part of this technology of confinement. Castes and communities came to exist and evolve through endogamy, by controlling female sexuality. Besides all the wars (and ritual immolations) for honour, there was an implicit violence in that stability.

The new violence has a slightly different origin. It comes from the cracks, from the change and instability of traditio­nal society grappling with modernity바카라�with fear, loathing and incomprehension바카라�to the moving of social tectonic plates as women speak and act. It shows up the starkest in the countryside. Witness how Naresh Tikait, leader of one of the infamous Jat khaps, responds to a Supreme Court verdict that chastised his ilk for interfering in love relationships. 바카라�We will not give birth to daughters, nor let others do so,바카라� he said. The threat contains within it the promise of that silent gynocide, made absolute. But after Ankit, and similar urban, even elite murders in the past (see 바카라�Her Hand in the State바카라�s Grip바카라�, p.36), has the city lost its edge over the farm? Is non-­village India entitled to feel morally superior? Look at the countless signs of nervous patriarchy바카라�the dress codes in city colleges, the new phobia of women drinking beer바카라�.

Half of humankind is not yet rising up in insurrection바카라�acquiescence among women is a deep-rooted, conditioned reflex. But the old consensus is creaking under the strain. There바카라�s a growing mismatch, a natural tension between the poles represented by the old world and what a scornful western UP farmer calls the 바카라�momo-jeans culture바카라�, the world of mobile phones and Valentine바카라�s Day. Between what young women바카라�and men바카라�seek and the sort of relationship society would love to impose on them. The egregious violence comes from the refusal of women to be treated as items in a prope­rty transaction. It바카라�s not a sudden eruption of battle바카라�it바카라�s a long war deepening in intensity by the day. It바카라�s death by a thousand cuts바카라�almost every aspect of masculinity clashing with what women want, charging the fraught territory of relationships with an extra veneer of fear.

The degree of possible reconciliation with modernity varies. Jats offer the ­perfect stereotype바카라�having started to forge into city life in just the last 50 years, they hunt down inter-caste or inter-­religious couples with a vengeance. Even so, the 바카라�liberal바카라� instinct isn바카라�t absent here. Varnika Kundu, the Chandigarh girl chased on a deserted street by two men last year (all three are Jats), got unexpected support from the Kundu khap. 바카라�Nobody emphasised the Jat thing last year because it was 바카라�Jat versus Jat바카라�,바카라� she says. 바카라�Yes, the khap supported me because I바카라�m a Jat. That said, it was a huge thing to back a city girl, for khaps are notorious for banning cell phones, noodles etc. I바카라�ve seen educated households where women don바카라�t have the same privileges as their brothers and also broad-minded families in the villa­ges바카라�what else was Dangal about?바카라�

So there바카라�s mobility there. And also a sense of the immoveable바카라�the idea of property. Signifying something inanimate, with no sense perceptions. With literacy, it ought to be an inevitable movement forward, out of that thought-world. And village India is signing on as a conflic­ted recruit바카라�Janus-faced, one face looking back. Last week, the same belt in Manesar, off Gurgaon, reported a moral policing/sexual assault case on a South Korean woman and a village, Naurangpur, that had reversed the female foeticide pattern and registered 1,866 girls to 1,000 boys. But zoom to the other end of the scale바카라�to the #MeToo campaign, or to the chic urbanity of Bollywood, where Kangana Ranaut says independent women are seen as 바카라�vamps바카라�. Or the women going home while peeling potatoes on Mumbai suburban trains바카라�liberated enough to participate in the economy (and pay half the bills), but not quite out of domesticity. The two-­facedness persists despite literacy.

It바카라�s also inevitable that women themselves internalise the conflict, soaking up all of society바카라�s neuroses. A 2005-06 National Family Health Survey study in Haryana found that more women than men (46/33 per cent) justified violence by husbands. Even a pan-India study among adolescents in 2012 found that while 57 per cent boys justified wife-­beating, so did 53 per cent girls. And experts deemed that to be an underestimation. And so, in the interpersonal space, a firm anchoring in a sense of identity and self-worth is yet to take root fully바카라�relationships are founded on this loose soil of inner conflict and self-doubt. 바카라�That women are considered keen to invest more in relationships and nurture them at all cost is itself a kind of oppression,바카라� says Prof Satish Prakash, a Meerut-based Dalit ideologue. ­바카라�Nobody recognises that she nurtures indiscriminately from a sense of insecurity. She is silent as she does not have any other choice.바카라�

Concrete reasons for this lack of a full singular ­ide­ntity바카라�as if women aren바카라�t 바카라�complete바카라� without ­marriage바카라�aren바카라�t hard to find. Their changing ­edu­cational and economic profile has not entitled ­women, in the eyes of family or community, to ownership of property, forget respect. Dowry demands are at an all-time high. One grotesque ­extreme was that of a man in West Bengal recently exposed for having 바카라�stolen바카라� his wife바카라�s kidney to 바카라�recover바카라� the dowry promised. The equation couldn바카라�t be starker바카라�he was merely selling off a piece of property.

The law is supposed to have a modernising force, driving society바카라�s reforming impulse, but this has not happened바카라�that바카라�s at the core of the crisis. In 2006, in Uttar Pradesh, only six per cent of women owned land independently. In Haryana, at around the same time, only 11 per cent households were 바카라�female-headed바카라�. Muslim and Christian communities, with a few exceptions, deny women the right to own property. UP, India바카라�s most populous state, continues with the ­Zamindari and Land Reforms Act of 1950 instead of migrating to the new Hindu Succession Act that gives women rights to agricultural land. The older law does not recognise the inheritance rights of widows, daughters and sisters unless all male descendants are dead or gone.

바카라�Even in Haryana, women바카라�s property rights exist only in name,바카라� says Jagmati Sangwan, general secretary, All India Democratic Women바카라�s Association, a social activist who has battled khaps for decades. 바카라�This is at the root of all conflicts. Women are too scared to demand property and men want girls married by 15 or earlier, so they never attain enough education or independence to demand what바카라�s theirs. After such a long struggle, the Supreme Court said khaps should not threaten couples. And Naresh Tikait says they will stop producing girls! They can바카라�t say anything to the SC directly, so take their anger out against the weakest section, women.바카라�

Even if Tikait바카라�s scary, Malthusian threat does not come to pass, there바카라�s always the everyday punishments of transgression. Or V-Day violence, which has gone way beyond small crowds of rowdies descending suddenly on a theatre or a club and thrashing young, romantically inclined couples. It바카라�s an elaborate, choreographed ritual of social anger, with widening acceptance from institutions. Universities close for the day to preclude chances of love blooming perchance on campuses. Public thrashings, of course, are routine by now. 바카라�Under the guise of Valentine바카라�s Day, Muslims befool Hindu women,바카라� says Manoj Saini of the 바카라�Hindu Yuva Sena바카라�, a rag-tag outfit that did a 바카라�lathi puja바카라� to forewarn couples (and establishments that welcome them) in Muzaffarnagar. Xenophobia blends seamlessly into misogyny in his words. 바카라�They wear kalava, teeka, and take names like Raju and ­Pappu. Girls don바카라�t realise they are Muslim, and get trapped.바카라�

DU professors Tanveer Aijaz and Vineeta, a 바카라�Hindu-­Muslim바카라� couple, are concerned over the myths and violence being woven around stories like theirs. When they wanted to marry, their families broached conversion too but they went for the Special Marriages Act (SMA), meant for inter-caste/religious couples. 바카라�We foresaw accepting conversion could lead to daily battles,바카라� he says. It helped that they are not 바카라�practising바카라� devouts, and both are repelled by notions of groups bound by perimeters that don바카라�t allow mixing.

For Nainital-based educationist Kripa, a Syrian Christian married to a Rajput, it wasn바카라�t so smooth. She was unwilling to convert to marry and her prospective in-laws were 바카라�the most liberal family possible바카라�. Yet, the SMA was not an option바카라�her father바카라�s signature, required under the SMA, was not forthcoming. The couple went for a temple wedding; she adopted a friend바카라�s gotra. Her church, when it found out, asked her to resign or get her husband to convert. Averse to a conversion of convenience, she res­igned. 바카라�The church, I feel, did everything contrary to the message of god,바카라� she says. 바카라�The Bible is inclusive, not exclusive. Personally, I feel connected to god even now.바카라�

Kripa, Ankit바카라�s girlfriend, Saini바카라�s potential victims바카라�all are on the same plane. The dread of girls doing their own choosing may now be rearticulated in the terms of conversion, the latest brand of phobia. But it바카라�s an ancient, congenital fear바카라�the idea that our women will be bamboozled out of the fold. 바카라�In the 1940s, when untouchables said they are not Hindus, the Hindus felt their numbers would fall,바카라� says Sunil Kumar, who teaches history at Delhi University. 바카라�So the fear is not just about Muslims or Christians, it바카라�s more so about Dalits marrying 바카라�higher바카라� castes. They have not coined a word for this yet, but they might as well바카라�perhaps it would not be so easy to push it with the electorate.바카라� Kumar, of course, says the whole 바카라�love jehad formulation바카라� makes no sense. 바카라�The proposition is that a woman is so inept she cannot discern. It바카라�s absurd.바카라�

If smaller histories are the real history of India, it바카라�s worth mentioning that Saini바카라�s opponents are alive바카라�and starting to kick. 바카라�In the name of opposing Valentine바카라�s Day, they want to spread chaos. They tell people that Muslims will capture India, and people fall in the trap,바카라� says Shivaji Gautam, a young Dalit activist in rural Muzaffarnagar, a member of an Udham Singh Sena and a Dalit-Muslim Sena. 바카라�This year, we바카라�ll go out to oppose them and protect couples if the government does not stop them.바카라�

바카라�They want Christian/English education for their children, but if some boy hands their daughter a flower on a street-corner, they thrash her,바카라� says Prof Prakash, who wishes courts would intervene. 바카라�If they love their culture so much, caste Hindus should bear its weight themselves and hand over their male children to temples and priests. Why do they want women and Dalits to carry this burden?바카라�

One couple-protection force exists in Delhi too바카라�바카라�Love Commandos바카라� rescues women (and men) in social crises brought on by love. 바카라�We바카라�ve helped 50,000 couples already and still get a steady stream of cases, such are the conditions in our country,바카라� says Sanjay Sachdev, who runs the voluntary outfit. Where do the couples come from? The number one place is Andhra-Telangana, followed by Tamil Nadu, Karna­taka, Pondicherry, Gujarat, Maharashtra. If the Jat belt has khaps, jati and samaj panchayats in Rajasthan, Andhra, Madhya Pradesh et al push couples in the way of danger. 바카라�There is no poor or rich, Bania or Brahmin, Jat or Jatav, or Delhi, Mumbai, Calcutta difference in the people who seek my help. I can show you the violence of all these groups.바카라�

Muslims, of course, have an elaborate architecture of miso­gyny of their own, including a clergy steeped in patriarchy, Student activist Shehla Rashid had raised a storm rec­ently, asking, fairly pointedly, if Muslims would react differently from Hindutva warriors if a Muslim girl were to marry a non-Muslim. 바카라�It바카라�s not like just one religion has fundamentalist elements바카라�both Muslim and Hindu groups suppress women,바카라� she says. Ankit바카라�s corpse came as proof, this week바카라�s Exhibit A. 바카라�We have the right to marry anybody we choose, to eat what we like, work in what profession we want.  The right-wing assaults those rights,바카라� she says.

Out in the country, things are moving erratically, two steps forward, one back. Haryana바카라�s sex ratio has inched back up to 950바카라�it was 819/1000 in 2001. And it stands at 912 in UP (894 in urban areas). But the old world is nervous. 바카라�Many anxieties we see today, such as over love jehad or inter-caste marriages, are a reflection of old idea of defending honour,바카라� says Jagpal Singh, who teaches at IGNOU.

Honour, of course, is rendered more honourable when it바카라�s systematically linked to property. Judge by a recent instance in Ghaziabad. A Hindu-Muslim couple were engaged to be married. Even their families were happy and willingly participating. Still, the right-wing sought to stop it, in vain. VHP activist Balaraj Doongar, who leads such agitations in the area, laments: 바카라�It was love jehad and land jehad rolled into one. The Hindus lost a daughter and crores in property.바카라� All talk of 바카라�all­owing바카라� freedom in relationships to women floats on this dark sea. It바카라�s a double deceit. At one level, women are to be denied ancestral property. At another, more fundamental level, women are ancestral property.

By Pragya Singh in New Delhi