I have often found that being unmarried doesn바카라t preclude you from the intimacies of the domestic lives of your friends. Certainly if they can throw you a life jacket as you navigate the stormy waters of the single life, you are obliged to push their boat along the placid stream of domesticity. Couple friends in many ways mirror one바카라s view of parental relationships. To put it simply, you don바카라t really want to be sitting on their couch and thinking about their sex life. It바카라s just not very comfortable. And usually they spare you the details. However, it바카라s when they are not having sex that you are brought into the mix. So when my friend told me she wasn바카라t really into it, I reacted with rehearsed incredulity, which is now my artful defence when accosted by sexual forwardness바카라be it in adult or child. How can you have a good marriage and not be into it? Quite clearly, you can. She loves her husband, they have great conversation, they just don바카라t have great sex. Having perceived neither in sexual avatar, I am at odds with a suitable response. So I throw sexual platitudes favouring her partner. Wrong move! 바카라You don바카라t think I바카라m sexy,바카라 she looks at me with hurt. 바카라No,바카라 I clarify, 바카라I think you바카라re very sexy; I was just doing the whole reverse psychology thing. It바카라s like a new hair cut, you like it better when others praise it.바카라 No dice? I can tell that she is a whisker away from asking for specifics. So I decide to bring on the blanket statement: 바카라I think you바카라re both amazingly sexy, I just can바카라t figure out why you바카라re not having sex!바카라
In response, she shakes her head. It wouldn바카라t be of any help to suggest Cosmo바카라her therapist already had. Instead, she tells me that she keeps a calendar, circling the days when they 바카라do it바카라. 바카라Next time you come over바카라, she says (like she바카라s speaking of the new oven), 바카라I will show it to you바카라. I get the whole mechanics of marriage and it바카라s the part I don바카라t really think about that just helps keep the whole illusion going바카라it바카라s the buoy that keeps me in the waters. Furthermore, my statistically inclined mind would certainly map a trend and henceforth be condemned to looking at the days on a calendar with voyeuristic foresight.
Unaware of my ambivalent thoughts, she leans over and tells me that she wouldn바카라t really mind him seeking it elsewhere. I am all for the 바카라observe don바카라t judge바카라, 바카라control of the body doesn바카라t only mean an articulation of desire, it means taking charge of it바카라 line. But in this case, when there was a lack of it, must we insist on skulking back into the cave, and letting the hunter gather his experiences elsewhere? I looked at the woman who sat before me바카라self-possessed and dismissive, so familiar with sex that she was beyond it.
Some sexologists attest that prescribed infidelity is great for a marriage. That is if one can get away with it. By introducing permissiveness and a time limit on this pass, it바카라s an 바카라honourable바카라 attempt at making a marriage work. It바카라s not an 바카라open marriage바카라바카라in the scandalous sense that is relished. It is an evolved consensus, supporters would argue, of tackling the sexual demands of two people who are at their sexual peak. The world is changing and so must the rules. It is more difficult to be in a marriage as opposed to being outside one. It has even changed the landscape of the dating world for singles, apart from it being more populated, what one finds now are people who are in a lot of ways 바카라almost single바카라. They are open about their marital status and their 바카라ins바카라 and 바카라outs바카라. There is no more twisting of the wedding band off the finger, no obfuscation of personal details. The offer is on the table. Just how many turn away? Even those who sit on the outside and view marriage as a portal into the world of the accepted, those who view it in terms of absolutes, remain seated at the table.
Passion is a dangerous word, it is a synonym today for a life well lived. It바카라s no longer a luxury, it has become a necessity. Its absence felt, chronicled and analysed. No longer shoved under the bath mat or explained and dismissed as the vagaries of a hormonal rush. It바카라s real and not only an expectation, but a demand. Hence the pressure and the stress, the constant striving of making it work. A whole plethora of industries like publishing, lingerie, beauty, medical, pharmaceuticals are directed at reigniting the passion in a marriage, building the romance, keeping it exciting. And debatably, it just might be as simple as letting each other out to graze for a bit?
(Advaita Kala is a bestselling novelist.)
