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Women Remember, Men Don바카라™t

For men, there seems to be no concept of mind, body, and soul when they are with a woman. There is just the concept of body.

Outlook Cover of October 2018
Outlook Cover of October 2018 Photo: Outlook
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A lot of men accused of sexual harassment have, in their defence, said they don바카라™t remember. Women remember. Men don바카라™t. For them, there seems to be no concept of mind, body, and soul when they are with a woman. There is just the concept of body. They only etch the experience in terms of woman바카라™s body, and don바카라™t recognise her as a full person or acknowledge her dignity.

There is another set of men who claim they were under the influence of alc­ohol when the incident happened. In the same state, however, they are able to fully recognise a woman, identify her breasts, butt, and even not­ice her earrings. When their sexual senses and cognitive abilities are completely alert and active, they can바카라™t claim to not be in their senses. If you바카라™re too drunk, go pass out on the couch. Alcohol can바카라™t be your defence and it바카라™s absolutely ridiculous to try and put the cloak of victimhood.

A whole bunch of us walk around with mental health disorders and yet don바카라™t go about mol­esting and groping women. Besides, why do women have to be perpetually in the telling-men-to-back-off mode? Why can바카라™t men simply learn about the supremacy of consent, and that it must never be compromised.

If I am on the dance floor and you want to dance with me, then approach me from the front, shake my hand, ask my name and if I want to dance with you. Don바카라™t come from behind, grab my waist and start grinding against me. And do not expect us to give any benefit of doubt when you are called out. While app­roaching women, men don바카라™t give us any benefit of doubt that we might not be into them. But when they are accused of sexual harassment, they want us to give them all the benefit of doubt that their beha­viour was fatherly or brotherly or of a differential nature.

In addition, as far as legal recourse and constitutional amendment is concerned, I couldn바카라™t care less. The law has been failing us at every step. The Sexual Harassment of Women at Work­place (Prevention, Pro­hibition and Redressal) Act, 2013, says the complainant must register the complaint within three months of the occ­urrence of the act. And this per­iod is ext­endable to six months if the woman is able to justify why she didn바카라™t come out earlier. This is the reality of our trauma. This is the reality of our law. It바카라™s so anti-victim and pro-perpetrator.

I came out against Mayank Jain a year-and-a-half later because calling him out earlier would have had repercussions. The law is unjust. And frankly, I바카라™m not turned on by the fact that 500 parliamentarians, most of them privileged males, might sit and pass a law as fallout of this MeToo movement. If other women have my back, I feel safe. We must protect our own.  

As told to Arshia Dhar

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